Like Shattered Glass.

We all experience the déjà vu of recurring dreams… but what about the horror of recurring nightmares? For the last few years, I have struggled to wake up.  Welcome to my recurring nightmare.  In this show of horrors, I’m screaming, shouting at the top of my sore lungs, but nothing comes out.  I fight to … Continue reading

Anyway

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and … Continue reading

Inside the glass jar.

I’ve always loved fireflies.  The glitter of their sparkle, the freedom of their flight, fireflies amazed me.  As a child, my sister and I would catch them in glass jars to watch their beautiful bulbs glow in the silky darkness.  Now, at 24, however, I commiserate with the light bulbs of the night.  They were … Continue reading

I’m bringing [Jordan] back…

Sometimes I wonder: Will anyone ever understand me the way my ex did?  OK, I can already pinpoint this thought as a distorted cognition caused by the cognitive dissonance I feel as a survivor of abuse, but bear with me on my disillusioned trip to La La Land. Fact: I was only 16 when I … Continue reading

Silencing my ‘Monkey Mind’

Mother Nature’s bipolar disorder has put a damper on my plans as of late. Cleveland’s weather went from temperatures in the low 80s to a balmy 99 degrees and climbing.  Add a little precipitation and what you have is the perfect climate for poufy, frizzy hair.  The 1980s called, they want their look back—and they can … Continue reading

Birthday Girl of 24

Well blogging friends, tomorrow is my 24th birthday, so maybe it’s time to change the title of my blog to “Saving my life at 24.”  But maybe not.  23 was a significant year for me.  Instead of wishing for a new bag or sexy stilettos, I blew my candles out last year wishing for salvation.  … Continue reading

Food for thought…

“There are only two questions that human beings have ever fought over, all through history. ‘How much do you love me?’ And, ‘Who’s in charge?’ Everything else is somehow manageable. But these two questions of love and control undo us all, trip us up and cause war, grief, and suffering.” –Eat, Pray, Love Even as … Continue reading

“Fear–So What?”

“Courage allows the successful woman to fail and learn powerful lessons— from the failure—so that in the end, she didn’t fail at all.”—Maya Angelou               When I was fifteen I was completely enamored with a particular book series.  In the lazy, warm days of summer, I would peacefully sway outside on a hammock while … Continue reading

I survived. I chose to thrive.

  “The victim who is able to articulate the situation of the victim has ceased to be a victim: he or she has become a threat.” –James Baldwin      

Maybe you just need to take a leap of Faith

“Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. If we truly knew all the answers in advance as to the meaning of life and the nature of God and the destiny of our souls, our belief would not be a leap of faith and it would not be a courageous act of humanity; it … Continue reading