“You musn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.”

Our life experiences shape our personal beliefs and convictions.  This blog has my name on it for a reason: because it is a forum for my opinions and thoughts.  I choose to share these sometimes very personal thoughts with the world in hopes that maybe I can reach someone who is facing a similar struggle and maybe, in some way, I can create a connection.

Many blog posts are dedicated to my love affair with having a career.  And sure, maybe that’s liberating to me, maybe it’s even a little sexy, but maybe it’s not the perfect path for everyone.  I know that.  I also speak often about making my own money and the independence of relying on myself.  Again, my opinion comes from my very personal experience.  In this case, it was the experience with a former friend.

We were very close, so close in fact, I had no doubt she would stand beside me in my wedding.  A little over one year ago, we met and soon we were inseparable.  But things changed and in spending time with this person, I began to form my own beliefs and in doing so, realize how different our set of opinions were. 

I speak so much about my six year relationship, not only because it spanned nearly one-third of my life, but also because it changed me.  After that relationship ended, I realized I didn’t like who I had become.  I was needy, I was dependant and to me, that was unacceptable.  The downfall of the relationship became a mirror in which I was forced to stand and look at myself, really look at myself for the first time in a long time.  Since facing the portrait in the mirror, a spark has been lit in me, a spark that refuses to ever be diminished. 

I began to overcompensate in a way, and soon the thought of making my own money and providing for myself became an aphrodisiac and the driving force in my college career.  I already have one degree, I already work hard, but for me that wasn’t good enough.  I needed more for myself and back to college I went.

My friend, much like me, was obsessed with money but for very different reasons.  It became clear that we weren’t going to be lifelong friends once I understood our differences.  I am a label-whore, I love the beauty of high-fashion things, but I am obsessed with getting those things for myself and that’s where we differed.  I don’t believe in using a man or any other person in order to obtain a sense of worth.  I’m not going to say I don’t enjoy the surprise of a gift from my boyfriend, but the moments I truly feel his love are those when we’re laughing so hard together we cry or when he grabs my hand during a car ride.  Gifts are wonderful but to be demanding of them isn’t so beautiful to me.  The relationship ended.

Recently we spoke again, and in that conversation I hoped for a change and for reconciliation.  I loved her.  I have a huge heart and always hope for the best in people.  I have good intentions, but for some reason things seemed the same and the “click” we had the once brought us so close was gone.  I was devastated, so I turned to my blog for support and to share that my glitter comes from my dreams, not from material bling.

I stand firm in my beliefs, not to hurt anyone, but to respect those around me.  I feel that to be accepting of individuals who wish to live off others would be to disrespect those who work so hard around me. 

My beautiful best friend left Cleveland a few months ago. Everyday she works hard and dedicates her time to raising her two amazing boys.  To me, that’s beautiful.  A long-time friend and soon-to-be family member stays at home with her precious one-year old daughter and works hard to ensure her daughter’s well-being.  She keeps a spotless home and in doing so, has taken the role as the backbone of a wonderful family.  To me, that’s beautiful.  My other best friend works at a thankless restaurant job and both of my parents live by each paycheck.  They’re all beautiful to me.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t have moments of envy when the former friend would show off her latest gift.  She openly admitted that she didn’t want to work, and maybe that’s OK for her and fits her own life and I have no right to judge her.  But my opinion differs.  I think working hard for your dreams, whether they are about having a family or creating a career, is the most beautiful thing you can do in life. 

Whether you’re a stay-at-home mommy, or a blue-collar worker bringing home a paycheck, we’re all working stiffs in one form or another.  If working means bringing beauty into your own life and bettering yourself or your family, then I’m proud to be a working stiff.  At the end of the day, I know I’ll be doing what I love soon and that passion inside of me is relentless.  The quote “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” is so true.  Some people love waking up to those smiling little faces, others  love creating something wonderful.  I love to write.  And I’m proud to be independent, even if that means my sparkle comes from my heart and not from my empty wallet.

6 Responses to ““You musn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.””
  1. Love this post! My aunt uses a familiar saying to “do what you love and youll never work a day in your life”. When I posed the problem of the impracticality of my own passion for fiction writing, she said, “Do what you love, and the money will follow.”

  2. Action Figure says:

    To me, you are beautiful…

  3. YES, you have reached !
    there were many beautiful sentences in this post, but I really loved this one “my sparkle comes from my heart and not from my empty wallet”.
    thank u

  4. Amy Lauria says:

    Just read a couple of your posts…Because I am also a News Herald blogger, I had run across your blog a while back. I am certainly not the most Perfect writer, but to me writing isn’t about being Perfect–it is more about using words to reach others. And that is just what you have done in this post. I have have experienced an empty wallet, a full wallet, being a married homemaker, working full-time and now I am a single mother. The really great thing about life is that it is ever changing, that we are always learning. (I know I am at 41). I hope you continue to write (especially if you love it) and that you continue to share your thoughts…Well done with this blog.

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