An open letter.

I don’t know how to say goodbye to you.  I think guilt has kept you here with me.  I feel responsible for leading you into a great love followed by an even greater pain.  I guess I’ve figured that holding onto you like a security blanket will somehow keep you with me always and will somehow make up for the mess I’ve made.

But I’ve realized the longer you stay with me, the more I’ll miss out on the beautiful potential of the future.  I am right where I’m supposed to be, but unfortunately I’ve dragged you with me and forced you to come along for the ride.  You aren’t supposed to be here.

It’s a grief of irony, isn’t it?  Make you stay out of guilt only to sabotage myself in the end? 

The saying goes that in order “to get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.”  I’ve never let you go.  And this time around, I want something I’ve never had.  I want more for myself – a greater future that will reflect the growing I’ve done and the accomplishments I’ve achieved.  You aren’t supposed to be here.

I think it’s time you forgive yourself for being too shy, too naïve, too insecure because you were truly beautiful.  You were stronger than you knew and gave more than anyone could.  You gave chances and smiled with the eyes of youth.  And that’s more beautiful than you will ever know.

But I can’t carry you anymore.  I’ve grown, learned and loved.  I found the potential that we were both supposed to embrace and this time around I’m chasing those crazy dreams you once laughed at.  This time around, I’m not scared of falling on my face.  Sure, it’s scary to fall, but even more frightening never to try.

Without you here, I will finally be the woman I was meant to be.  I will do the things we never did and find true beauty.

Goodbye, sixteen-year-old me.

3 Responses to “An open letter.”
  1. Wow! What an honest and powerful letter. Thanks for sharing. I wish you nothing but the best on the journey that lies ahead of you! Take care.

  2. Raphael Bluewolf says:

    enchanting letter ! loved it
    nice new look too.. and beautiful picture !

  3. KayDee says:

    Kudos for your strength and resolve with this letter!! Happy journeys<3

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