Damaged Goods.

Do you ever just have one of those days?  You know the kind: a day in which nothing particularly devastating occurs, yet you could cry, on cue, for no reason?  Welcome to my Tuesday.  As I look in the mirror, I’m ready to cry.  Is it because I don’t like what I see or who I am?  No.  Maybe it’s because I’ve been allowing the opinions of people around me to secretly seep into my subconscious. 

Everyone has an opinion, it’s a fact.  But lately, the people I call close friends and family have thoughts and beliefs that are not similar to my own.  In fact, they are alien to me and my heart.  Life is always challenging and right now I’m facing the difficulty in how to overcome these thoughts that are drowning me into darkness and lift myself above the waters to hear my own voice.  What do I want?  What do I need?  These are the only questions that should matter, and yet they are the latter on my priority list.

I am a people pleaser; I was born with this innate need to put smiles on the faces of those surrounding me.  But lately, I’ve been so focused on gaining the love and acceptance of those around me that I forgot, well, me.

Recently, I watched a typical, saccharine-infused, happily-ever-after romantic comedy.  While I eat these movies as if they were the last few pieces of chocolate on earth, this one really stayed with me.  After the main character realizes she’s been damaged through previous heartaches, she is forced to face the fact that maybe Prince Charming, in his full suit of armor and accompanied by his ever-faithful white horse, is not the Prince Charming she desires.  He’s not for her, he never was.

Maybe we are all damaged goods and maybe the quintessential, rescue-me-from-my-tower Prince Charming was never what I wanted, or needed.  I don’t need a man to rescue me and I don’t need to play the role of damsel in distress.  I need a man who fills my life with promise and passion.  Who can make me smile in the darkest of times and who can hold my hand without holding me back from my own potential.  I need a man who supports my dreams, relishes in my accomplishments and understands my strength and my limits.  I don’t want the fairytale wedding, the happily-ever-after, because in all honesty, it doesn’t work that way.  I want fights, misunderstandings and silly imperfections.  I want the realest possible form of love and that’s the only one I will ever settle for in my life.  Maybe we are all damaged goods – my fairytale is to learn how to handle each other’s hearts with absolute  care and maybe, at times, a little bubble wrap.

 My Prince Charming was never on a white horse and he was never waiting to rescue me beneath my tower. But he was always in my heart, waiting for me to realize that saving me was the last thing I ever needed him to do.

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Comments
2 Responses to “Damaged Goods.”
  1. ActionFigure says:

    Jordan,

    Your Prince Charming was never on a White Horse, because he will be on a Blacked out Ducati! And don’t worry, there will be fights and silly imperfections…Me Say Le!

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