I just came to say “Hello”

Time — when pursued like a bandit — will behave like one; always remaining one country or one room ahead of you, changing its name and hair color to elude you, slipping out the back door of the motel just as you’re banging through the lobby with your newest search warrant, leaving only a burning cigarette in the ashtray to taunt you. —Elizabeth Gilbert 

Now that I’m 24, I’m starting to realize just how fast time flies… and how, no matter what you do, you can’t stop the passing of minutes, hours and days.  A little over one year ago, I had a chance meeting with an old friend and previous colleague.  We became fast friends again and soon I was running to her for advice.  Her words were always perfect, her timing impeccable.  In this life, we have all different types of friends.  The fair-weather friends, who come and go just as quickly as sun turns to rain and the going-out friends who are only reliable for a few cocktails and maybe the occasional shopping trip.  But this friend was a true friend, a soul mate.  She never judged and listened with her heart.  Her advice was always compassionate and grounded.  Our lunch dates were my guilty pleasure—amazing food and even better conversation. 

Over one of Melt’s infamous grilled cheese sandwiches, she told me how her husband had plans to move the family to Seattle… my stomach dropped and the greasy goodness was pushed aside.  After a few tears, I moved all thoughts of her leaving out of my mind.  I still had one year left with her, why blow the time with worries and sadness?

One year flashed in what seemed like one second and yesterday was her last day in Cleveland.  I spent the day with her and her two sons and couldn’t find it in my heart to utter those painful words, “goodbye.”  I hate goodbyes, I’ve never been good at them.  But these days, it seems like everyone is picking up and moving away, moving on with their lives and chasing a dream specific to only their hearts.  And I sit and wait patiently for my day.

After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it’s comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart… and if you’re very lucky, a plane ride away. –SATC

Since the break-up of my last serious relationship, I feel like I have been saying nothing but  goodbye to one friend or another, and I’m sick of it.  It hurts and the relationships are never the same.  No more lunch dates or shopping trips… no more movie nights… it’s all gone.  I know people are brought into our lives at the perfect time, for the perfect reason.  She was brought back into my life when I needed her the most, and while I know I’ll be OK, I will always rely on her advice to get me through those rainy Cleveland days.  She will never be my fair-weather friend—she is my rainy-day-get-me-through-any-storm girl friend and for that I will always be grateful.

On the upside, I now have a new place to fly to and visit.  Her move also reminds me of my own dreams and that soon, the next goodbye will be my own, only this time I will be saying the gloomy phrase to my family and friends.  My dreams are out there waiting for me, only a plane ride away.  I don’t know if I’ll ever have a husband or a baby, but I do know I want to travel, I want to eat life one morsel at a time, one place at a time.  A cookie-cutter life was never made for me.  My parents always said I was one in a million and maybe they were right.  I’m ready to discover life, on my own terms.

I can’t believe I’m even admitting this, but some small part of me feels grateful to be single and free right now.  If I was still tied to the past, I would be living out my selfish ex’s ridiculous dreams and if I were in a relationship, I may feel pressured to stay.  But for now, I’m free.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way.  After watching so many friends leave and saying so many goodbyes, I anxiously await for the day I can say hello—to a new city and a huge list of amazing dreams.

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Comments
4 Responses to “I just came to say “Hello””
  1. hypnotian says:

    I really enjoyed this post. I was turned on by the quote at first and then I went back and read the rest. I too am waiting for my day to say hello. I am a firm believer in feeling and being free. If it is meant to be then you will get married and have a baby. I choose not to look for things to happen. You are one in a million and the man lucky enough to experience you doesn’t even know how what a treat he is in for.

  2. TY for the great info! I would never have gotten this myself!

  3. jordanleah says:

    Thanks for the compliment!! I’m glad you stopped by!

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