Food for thought…

“There are only two questions that human beings have ever fought over, all through history. ‘How much do you love me?’ And, ‘Who’s in charge?’ Everything else is somehow manageable. But these two questions of love and control undo us all, trip us up and cause war, grief, and suffering.”

–Eat, Pray, Love

Even as a student who is still refining and understanding the ability of her craft, I already know I’ve chosen the most fulfilling career path.  When you’re a journalist (or novice participant) you have amazing opportunities.  One of the most beneficial and rewarding areas of opportunity is in meeting new people daily and making hundreds of great contacts and confidants. 

In life, the most memorable experiences usually come in the most eye-opening packages.  Today was no exception.  I had the opportunity to interview The Dating Doctor, or the real life “Hitch.”  Switch on TBS to catch a re-airing of “Hitch” and you will fully understand his charm, as Will Smith’s character was based on the infamous relationship coach.  Following an incredible interview, I sat in on his motivational dating presentation.  While his speech and coaching definitely left me more intrigued, knowledgeable and motivated one thing he said stood apart from the rest of his lessons and has stayed with me since.

When a partner is controlling in a relationship, he explained, it means that he/she does not care about the other person or the partnership as a whole.  *Cue the red flag.  Something so simple, yet so profound truly struck me—and it all makes sense.  My ex-N never cared about me.  I was the one who cared, who strived to be better–more attractive, less needy, more loving—you name it, I did it.    Narcissists and pathological individuals (Anti-socials, Borderlines, Histronics) thrive on control—it’s all a power struggle with no end in sight.  But when one person does not care about the outcome of the relationship—well, there is NO relationship.  With such insight, I know more and more each day, that the best decision I’ve made in my life was through saving my life by leaving an abuser.

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Comments
2 Responses to “Food for thought…”
  1. easylifestyles says:

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  2. jordanleah says:

    Thanks for stopping by and reading! I already checked out your site–it’s great and I will be stopping by again.

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