“Every great dream begins with a dreamer.”

“You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestation of your own blessings.”–Elizabeth Gilbert

We all experience common dreams.  You know the kind where you’re plummeting from a 20-story building face first into the black night and as you brace yourself for the pain of the unknown you hear a faint ringing.  It’s your alarm clock and it saves you every time.  In a chilled sweat of adrenaline, you rise from your bed and thank your lucky stars that it was all just a dream, that you are in one piece ready to face the monotony of the day.

I always dream that I am losing something—from all my money, to my coveted LV bag, to the love of my life, I am constantly searching for that missing link in my dreams.  But what happens if you wake up from a dream only to find you’ve lost yourself

I know this helpless, overwhelming feeling all too well.  When you’re in the dream of a relationship, it’s so easy to give, give and give some more, but the hard thing is to remember who you are and what you stand for in the midst of honeymoon-bliss.  The honeymoon eventually ends (nothing ever lasts) and you are left scrambling to file a missing persons report on the amazing you that you once were.  What happened to your ideals, beliefs, passions and most importantly your dreams?

Welcome to relationships—some build you up, some tear you down and others are only there for the taking.  It’s the I’ll-have-what-he’s-having mentality that strips you of what you sought out to be and leaves in its absence a shell of an individual, by all definitions of the word. 

While I’ve had an intimate experience with grieving the loss of, well, me following my relationship with a pathological personality, I’ve realized it’s not just me–I see the Runaway-Bride-Syndrome running rampant in relationships all around me. 

In the classic Julia Roberts chick-flick, “Runaway Bride,” her character Maggie has found herself literally running, sometimes riding away from her groom(s) at the altar.  A relationship addict, she has no idea who she really is or what she likes, down to the simplistic detail of how she prefers her eggs to be prepared.  Ike, her male counterpart, played by Richard Gere (yum), challenges her:

You’re so lost you don’t even know what kind of eggs you like.  That’s right.  With the priest, you wanted scrambled.  With the Dead Head, it was fried.  With the bug guy it was poached.  Now it’s like ‘Oh, egg whites only.'”

I’m not sure why we lose ourselves with love, but sometimes I wonder: Did we really ever have ourselves to begin with?  I ventured into a relationship young, so young that I had not found myself just yet. 

Rather than only letting my ex think he could have all of me, I laid all my cards on the table and gave the complete package willingly.  What I lost was my wild spirit, my youthful attitude of dreaming big, no matter how unrealistic it was.

Every woman has her own unique quirk, her own special quality that she must keep close and carry in her pocket each day.  To lose such qualities is to lose oneself—a huge price to pay for a relationship.  Relationships can be amazing, but the relationship you have with yourself is ever lasting.

As for me?  It took me a while, but I’ve reclaimed my spontaneous side, my hunger for life.  It is my very own wild card to keep in my back pocket on a rainy day.  I have embraced my dreaming spirit and make no apologies for aiming to cultivate my own blessings.  You have to create happiness wherever you can and I have been doing just that and the future has never looked brighter.  The other day I was reminded of how much life can change if you keep your dreams close.  After completing an article about an amazing Cleveland entreprenuer (and close friend), I was beyond ecstatic to see it published in Cleveland State University’s “The Vindicator” as well as on his website. 

I believe in change, I believe in dreaming with the limitless boundaries of your heart and I believe that the pain of today will be replaced by the fate and hope of tomorrow.  As Julia Roberts said in Eat, Pray, Love, “Don’t worry, [the pain] won’t last forever—nothing does.” 

I can also say with confidence that I have sampled every egg out there and I am an omelet girl. 

*Visit Ianbeers.com to check out some amazing art and read my article: http://ianbeers.com/vindicatorarticle.html

2 Responses to ““Every great dream begins with a dreamer.””
  1. Catherine says:

    I totally feel you on this – I started with my ex so young that I don’t know that I gave myself up for him, I’m not sure I gave myself the time to discover myself. I really love your blog, you are a great writer (there is a sort of musical quality to some of your posts), but I also really like the empowering messages/photos you share. Probably is a lot of work to pull it all together – but it’s great!

    • jordanleah says:

      Thanks!! Like I wrote on yours, I understand how hard it can be sometimes. Finding yourself and what you stand for isn’t easy (as I’m finding out) but I think it will be worth it! 🙂

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