Green Versus Glitter.
The green monster of jealousy grabs us all, at one time or another. We all have envious tendencies and have those secret, personal moments in which we wish more than anything to be her or him, if only for a day.
Comparison is how I gauge my own success in this crazy world. I’m starting to realize, however, just how poisonous and damaging the process of comparison is to my life.
I’ve never been privileged, led a life of ease or have had things handed to me. I have possibly the worst luck of anyone I know and I work hard and keep my nose on the grindstone in an effort to create a diversion for my mind. Should I sit too long or let my mind wonder, the crippling fear swims to the surface: What if I fail?
As I sit here now, I think of all the friends and acquaintances I have that lead wonderful lives. Many of them want for nothing and have beautiful things handed to them for no reason at all. Some don’t work and others don’t have to and I wonder why am I trying so hard and working myself ragged when others receive rewards for the price of nothing?
Maybe my own priorities need adjusting and maybe an outsider can never see things for how they truly are, but some days I wonder why my path feels a little more difficult and trying than the paths intersecting my own.
The only answer to the impossible riddle is learning to focus on my own values. Those girls can have their pricey sequin Louboutins and their sparkly baubles because in the end, I don’t need that glitter. In the end, I’m a girl who has glitter running through her veins. I’m the girl who will never place my own happiness on the shoulders of others. I’m the girl who thinks independence is oh-so-sexy and a career is oh-so-amazing. Sure, maybe I’ll always be the girl struggling in some form or another. I’ll never be perfect. Beautiful rings and priceless trinkets will never be handed to me. But succeeding alone, without depending on the helping hand of another, will taste that much sweeter and can never compare to a pricey gift. And in the end, I’ll have one hell of a story to tell.
nice to read for again